i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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