Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
