So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize