so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
