i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I am never drinking with the goths again.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize
