You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
