I'm really into asian looking animals
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
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