Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
