Me too!
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
