come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
