Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
