She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
