dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
that is very illegal...i love you.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
