And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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