And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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