physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
