covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
