so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
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