my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
