you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
