drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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