I cockslap morals
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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