allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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