brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
This is the prime rib incident all over again
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
