no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
