I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize