i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
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