It's Friday. Sex?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
MIDGETS
????
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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