Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
