I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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