no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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