he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
