what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
