My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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