In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
