I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
