Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
two words...techno handjob
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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