I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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