she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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