I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
