I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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