WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
are you so shy because you have an std?
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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