I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Please don't give away my fajitas
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