...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
