what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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