The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
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