so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I just want to make out with him forever
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Randomize
