He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
