Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize