I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
