Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
