I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
