You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
