I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Four minutes until I can fart!
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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