Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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