haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
